The day before matching panel

We spent the weekend finishing putting together Boy H’s bedroom furniture so we could take pictures of his room and include them in the introductions book. We also put up a “Ben 10” poster (as one does) because apparently he loves Ben 10. I sent Miranda a draft of the book and she liked it. She asked us to change one of the pictures because she thought it looked too formal (we were wearing suits and ties because it was taken at a friend’s wedding) so we did and finalised it. We are hoping to record the DVD this weekend.

We are both a nervous about panel tomorrow. This morning we received a “Good Luck” card from some friends and we were really moved by it. All the little good luck messages and texts mean so much. We’ve had so much support in this process, it’s been really amazing. Everyone is keeping their fingers crossed and waiting to hear from us tomorrow. I think this is partly because we’ve refused to give Boy H’s name to anyone, so our friends and family want the decision to come so they can finally find out! Glen did let it slip twice, though, but we're not counting that.

So, tomorrow. I think we’re ready. All the signs from the social workers are positive, and we’ve prepared the answers to the most obvious questions. We’re still nervous but looking forward to it. Our lives will change tomorrow regardless of the outcome. The enormity of this is hard to describe. If it’s a “no” we’ll need to grieve for the loss of Boy H and consider whether we can go through this again. If it’s a “yes” then (if all goes well with introductions and there's no further threat of impediment from the birth parents) we’ll become dads to a 6-year old little boy. One thing we definitely have in common with him is that we’ve been waiting years to have a family. And tomorrow we find out if the wait is over.

Keep your fingers crossed for us!