Happy new year

We spent a nice new year at a friends’ house. On the 31st we told a few friends and family about the fact that we’re being visited. The following day I regretted it as if we’re not successful we’ll have to tell them that as well. It’s a very difficult line to cross between not getting carried away and not feeling like you’re hiding things from the people you’re close to.

Today’s the last day of the holidays and of course most of the things we intended to do during the time off haven’t got done. Yesterday, in a bit of a panic about getting a visit, I decided to finish painting one of our living room walls, which I’d started before Christmas and hadn’t had a chance to finish. I wouldn’t want the social workers to sit in a room that’s half painted! I can tell that in the run up to this visit the house is going to get cleaned until it sparkles. In a way it’s like we’re selling the house! Ok, we’re not selling it, but we’re trying to convince someone that this is the perfect house for Boy H. I do realise that they are more interested in us and what we have to offer, and we will be doing our homework re-reading Boy H’s Child Permanence Report, our own PAR, preparing questions and answers for the visit, etc as well.

Since we had the visit confirmed it’s been hard to get it off our minds. Glen and I will be talking about something completely different, or watching TV or whatever and then one of us will suddenly ask the other about the visit: “what will we ask?”, “Shall we volunteer information about this or that?” and stuff like that. I don’t think I’ll be able to concentrate much at work for the next two weeks...

Talking of questions and volunteering information, one piece of information I wanted to make sure we mention to the social workers is that we’re monogamous. I know that some people think of gay men as promiscuous even if they are in a long term relationship, and I want to let them know that we’re not. I have nothing against people who are in open relationships or whatever (each to their own), but we aren’t, and I want to clarify that to the social workers. I mentioned this last night to two of our gay friends who have adopted, and they and Glen think that if we volunteer this information it will come across like we’re indeed promiscuous but feel like we should say otherwise. I think they have a point. We may ask Miranda what she thinks. I just don’t want to be judged on some prejudice that they may have and not address it. But if I address it I may be opening a can of worms. Do straight couples worry about this? Do other gay couples?

Anyhow, enough for today. I hope everyone has a very happy new year and to all those who are in the adoption process I wish you the best of luck. Here’s hoping for a perfect 10!